The Crimes of the Tongue THE second most deadly instrument of destruction is the dynamite gun,—the first is the human tongue. The gun merely kills bodies; the tongue kills reputations and, ofttimes, ruins characters. Each gun works alone; each loaded tongue has a hundred accomplices. The havoc of the gun is visible at once. The…
To Speak, or Not to Speak: A Gentleman’s Rules for Holding the Tongue From an 1890s Manual on Manners
The Gentleman’s Guide to Self-Mastery From an 1890s Manual on Cultivating Self-Control, Character
The Kingship of Self-Control MAN has two creators,—his God and himself. His first creator furnishes him the raw material of his life and the laws in conformity with which he can make that life what he will. His second creator,—himself,—has marvelous powers he rarely realizes. It is what a man makes of himself that counts. When a man…
Rules for How to Be a ‘Gentleman’ From an 1875 Guidebook, the Final Chapter: Miscellaneous
Here is an excerpt from “The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness” by Cecil B. Hartley, published by Locke & Bubier in 1875. MISCELLANEOUS. WHEN you are walking with a lady who has your arm, be careful to keep step with her, and do not force her to take long, unladylike steps, or trot beside you with two steps to one…
Vintage Advice for Gentleman: Etiquette for the Date, Hanging With the Boys, or Just Chillin’ Alone
Here is an excerpt from “The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness” by Cecil B. Hartley, published by Locke & Bubier in 1875. ETIQUETTE FOR PLACES OF AMUSEMENT. WHEN you wish to invite a lady to accompany you to the theatre, opera, a concert, or any other public place of amusement, send the invitation the day previous to the one selected for taking her, and write…
Master the Dancefloor: A Gentleman’s Guide to Ballroom Etiquette—From a Classic Manual on Manners
January 15, 2023
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The following is an excerpt from “The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness” by Cecil B. Hartley, published by Locke & Bubier in 1875. OF all the amusements open for young people, none is more delightful and more popular than dancing. Lord Chesterfield, in his letters to his son, says: “Dancing is, in itself, a very trifling…
How to Conduct a Conversation Like a Gentleman—From a Manual on Etiquette and Politeness From 1875
The following is an excerpt from “The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness” by Cecil B. Hartley, published by Locke & Bubier in 1875. ONE of the first rules for a guide in polite conversation, is to avoid political or religious discussions in general society. Such discussions lead almost invariably to irritating differences of opinion,…
A Guide to Gentlemanly Manners While Travelling Based On an Etiquette Manual From the 1880s
THERE is nothing that tests the natural politeness of men and women so thoroughly as traveling. We all desire as much comfort as possible and as a rule are selfish. In these days of railroad travel, when every railway is equipped with elegant coaches for the comfort, convenience and sometimes luxury of its passengers, and provided…
A Gentleman’s Instruction Manual From the 1880s Explains How to Have Manners, ‘General Rules of Conduct’
IN society, everybody should receive equal attention, the young as well as the old. A high authority says, “If we wish our young people to grow up self-possessed and at ease, we must early train them in those graces by giving them the same attention and consideration we do those of maturer years. If we snub…
Does the Word ‘Gentleman’ Still Mean Anything Today? Here’s Why It Should
I was speaking to the freshman class at Wabash College, a small all-male college in Crawfordsville, Indiana. “What does it mean to be a gentleman?” I asked. “Raise your hand if you’d like to share your definition of a gentleman.” One young man offered: “A gentleman is someone who goes to gentlemen’s clubs and watches girls…
A Class All Their Own: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Old School
Back in high school, I spent a summer working as an orderly in the recovery and operating rooms of Forsyth Memorial Hospital in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. On my first day on the job, I watched a certain Dr. Norfleet performing a nephrectomy on a patient. Later that evening, I told my father, a family physician,…
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