Category: relationships

How to Turn a Toxic Conflict Into a Good One

We’ve all been there: Locked in a heated argument, blood pressure rising, fixated on our next point rather than actually listening to what the other person has to say. Even after it ends, it doesn’t really end—we keep ruminating on it for hours, days, weeks. This is what journalist Amanda Ripley refers to as “high…


The Pillars of a Strong Relationship

Your performance evaluation at work comes in, and it’s glowing. However, there’s one area that “needs improvement.” Days later, which part do you think about? The negative, of course. Part of you knows it’s ridiculous to let that one thing bother you. After all, there’s a lot more good in there than bad, but you…


Dating: The Old-Fashioned Path to Love and Romance

OK. I agree with some of you right off the bat. What’s a 70-year-old guy doing giving advice about dating and courtship? In words made famous by the man we now call president, “Come on, man!” Agreed in part. I am “old, and grey, and full of sleep,” as the poet Yeats once wrote of…


Winning Her Heart: Some Lessons in Love From ‘Groundhog Day’

It’s Groundhog Day, and weatherman and extreme narcissist Phil Connors (Bill Murray) is sent to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania to cover the annual appearance of Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog who annually predicts when spring will arrive. Despite the large and happy crowd, Phil has nothing but contempt for the town, its people, and its festival. To him…


When We Are Alone Together

Many couples come to my office because they don’t feel deeply connected. Often, one of them is lonely in the relationship because they feel like they can’t bridge the distance. These couples describe their relationships as containing little intimacy. But something recently reminded me of the divine ingredients of connection and how simple—but not easy—it…


‘Relationship Glasses’ Shape How We See Romantic Partners

For some, the COVID-19 pandemic has offered an opportunity to spend more time and reconnect with romantic partners. For others, love on lockdown has magnified relationship difficulties that couples were experiencing before the pandemic, leading to increased relationship stress and dissatisfaction. Break-ups, divorces, and even domestic violence have been on the rise since the pandemic began. Given…


Starting a New Career at 50

I hear from so many people who are nervous or scared to make a career change in their fifties, even if they’re miserable at their current job. I get it. There are a lot of fears and insecurities that can creep up when you’re thinking about making any big change later in life. Don’t let…


Video: How to Save Your Marriage From Virus Lockdown Stress, With Kimberly Holmes

With the virus lockdowns and many people working from home, one of the side effects has been that marriages and relationships are having increased tensions. To get a better sense of the troubles people are facing, the questions being brought to marriage counselors, and for some tips on how to help strained relationships, we’ve invited…


Can a Relationship Recover From Resentment?

Resentment is poisonous to a relationship.